Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Holy shit dude........stairs
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
