I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
