i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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