hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
