I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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