What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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