I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
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