Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
