My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
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