i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
