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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
