Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Randomize
