Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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