Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
