so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you win again, gameday.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
