Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
