god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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