Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
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I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
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I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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