Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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