WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Randomize
