Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
