maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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