Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
