yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
