I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
