i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
