Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
