Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize