the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Mom said you looked used
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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