I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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