I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
My breasts were aching with rage.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize