addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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