Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
