Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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