he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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