is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
