spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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