My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
