normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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