dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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