i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
