They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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