I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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