Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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