I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
