Got a toothbrush?
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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