The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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