Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
