Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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