I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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