please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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