Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Randomize
