True but thats because hes a fetus.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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