The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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