I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
