Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize