cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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