I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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