OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
