She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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