if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
