ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
