I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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