dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
My vagina just recognized that song.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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