She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
I'm really busy with my period
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