In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
