wrigley field is MILF paradise
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
