What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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