she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
